The *REAL* First Post!

Whooo! Alright! Let's get this proverbial party started! Yeahhhh!

Now, to kill the enthusiasm, I'd like to tell you all that we are all doomed. That's right, we are all going to die horrible deaths. How, you may ask?

Jellyfish.

Yes, the denizens of the ocean, jellyfish. Sure, they are scary (having been stung by one), but why, you ask, are we all doomed? That seems silly! Well, yes, perhaps. Until the big reveal.

Big reveal?

Yes. The big reveal. There is a strain of jellyfish that is immortal. See? Told you we are doomed.

Well, ok, not doomed, per se, but we will be outlasted by brainless creatures. That's a comforting thought.

According to National Geographic, the jellyfish are able to reverse their cells to an earlier state. In other words, the cells themselves change. Nerve cells can become muscle, etc. In that way, the jellyfish reverts itself to a polyp colony, the first stage of the jellyfish. From there, it asexually reproduces - no need for a partner. From there, the polyp colony spawns hundreds of genetically identical jellyfish.

And it continues to do this, over, and over, and over.

There is good news, though, friends and readers:

The jellyfish is as big as your pinky finger's nail.

So, in short, we are all going to be outlived by a race of small, genetically identical blobs of goo.

To arms, readers! Death to the immortal jellyfish of doooooom!

...Well, ok, maybe not, but it sure sounded funny, didn't it?





Also, I'd like to point out the irony in the picture and title of this blog. This blog is meant for my free speech class, and so I'll try to throw as much free speech-y-ness into the posts as possible. The irony, you ask? Well, look at the picture of the Almighty Technoviking. It says "Obey." Free Speech. Obey. Geddit? It's not free speech. Anyway, yeah. I'll post funny links (along with my highly satirical look at them), interesting articles and the like. I'll be sure to point out the shreds of truth in between my satire (I kind of have to, but it's probably for the best, anyway).

In the next post, we shall talk about Anonymous. See you then!


Can't Stop The Signal.