Random rantings and such

So, you know what sucks? Having to deal with cars for six hours. SIX HOURS. And that's after driving for five hours yesterday, when it should have only been two, maybe two and a half. GRR CARS.

So, changed oil and rotated tires with my father today. For six hours. Had to go to AutoZone twice.

See, we couldn't get a bolt to fit properly in the wheel, since the genius who put in my breaks over at Les Schwab used a 250 psi gun to put the screws on...when they needed at most 115 psi. Stripped the bolt to hell.

And I learned this from a black dude named Gary, who has obviously seen his share of cars. Why does it matter that he is black? Because I love the way black men speak. Case in point, Morgan Freeman. That man could tell me he just murdered my entire family with a chainsaw, and his soothing, smooth, silky voice would STILL calm me down. In fact, Morgan Freeman's voice is who I hear sometimes when I am reading. Anyway, black men can have voices ranging from badass to soothing. I love it. Can't explain why. Just do.

Anyway, yeah. I really should have a point to this post. So. Uh. Gimme a minute here.


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Conspiracy theories! There we go!

Ha. Thought of something.

First off, let's talk about...Chem Trails. Because someone on campus pointed to the contrails of a plane that were lingering and was like "Dudes, it's a chem trail..." as she walked by myself, my girlfriend, and a few other couples.

What is a chem trail? SUPPOSEDLY, it's a trail of chemicals that are put out instead of a contrail from an airplane.

Status: DEBUNKED. No such thing. Chemicals don't act like that in the air. Too bad, girly.


Next, Area 51!

Groom Lake, Nevada, a testing site for ultra-top-secret planes. Do they house aliens and things there?

Hell no.

Wait, wha-?

No no, stop, don't look at me like that. They DID house that stuff there (in theory, anyway), but it's been MOVED, to another dried lake bed not far away. Evidence? I watch the goddamn discovery and Sci-Fi channels. Plus, Wiki it. Those theorists over at Wikipedia keep that thing in good condition, considering it is probably monitored 24/7 by the G-men.

How 'bout BLACK HELICOPTERS?!?!

Copters that are top-secret government use only, no identifying marks on them, painted only black. Not even a tail code. Nothing.

Do they exist? I would like to think so, but I can't say I've seen one, so...


Finally, the Bloop. It's Cthulhu, man. There's no other explanation. We have found R'lyeh. Cthulhu Fhtagn.

Either that, or the Nessie migrated. Take your pick.


That's it for now, more to come.

Can't stop the signal, Mal.